October 5, 2016

Happy Alone · Stay Home Club

Brick + Mortar had just finished their set at Riot Fest, and we are on the hunt for the bathrooms. Upon this hunt, we pass two long rows of crafters, a new addition to the fest. After I've slathered my hand in Fall Lakeside Breeze hand sanitizer, we're decided to take a look at the vendors. There were a few people who'd sewn patches onto thrifted flannels and jackets, a stand selling weed bowls and one-hitters, and next door was a small tent called the Stay Home Club.

All of their products seemed tailored directly towards me. They had tee-shirts, patched, and lapel pins. Although I have a denim jacket, I don't wear it very often, and I have no other jackets with a lapel to put this on, so it's stayed safely in it's original packaging on my vanity.

I was flipping through pins, as I wasn't entirely sold on any of them, until I found this one, and it's perfect. There have been so many nights where I find myself alone in bed crocheting, writing, reading, watching Gilmore Girls, and I am content. I am happy. I enjoy quiet bus rides by myself, and small adventures (like one I have coming in a future post.) It's just refreshing to enjoy my own company. Sometimes I get off track of my individuality because of how many people I surround myself with on a daily basis. It's refreshing to regain that.

I also used to deal a lot with FOMO (fear of mission out.) It used to make me anxious to spend time alone because I always felt that so much was happening without me and I was missing it. Sometimes, it's okay to miss things. I don't have to go out every time somebody calls, or consistently be in someone's company to be happy. I've grown out of that independence and grown into my own happiness. I can make myself happy. I can be content in my own company. And, if you would have asked me last year if that was something I was capable of, I would have said no.

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