December 6, 2016

Two Nights of Realization · Night Two: Who I Am




Since the end of my relationship, I have been reflecting a lot on who I am as a person. Amanda has been my best friend since eighth grade, and we spent the night at IHOP, wrapping up some Christmas shopping, and ended up talking for almost two hours in my driveway. This conversation went in so many different directions, spinning off of the conversation I had the night before with Justin. However, my night with Amanda focused on more of who we are as people, tying into relationships and why it's so difficult to meet people.

I am such an eccentric person.
But, this being said, there is not one thing that I invest all of my passion in.
That being said, it's hard to meet somebody that enjoys the same things as I do because I enjoy such a variety of things.

My favorite film is Pan's Labyrinth. My music taste is truly all over the board, I listen to a little bit of everything, although my favorite bands are AFI, the Front Bottoms, and Death Cab for Cutie. I craft. I write. I love watching Netflix. I spend too much time watching Youtubers. My sense of humor is a little skewed. My favorite holidays are Halloween, and Christmas.

As the wise Rivers Cuomo once said, "My fashion sense in a little whack and my friends are just as cool as me."

Having such a wide variety of interests makes it hard for me to connect to people. Although I have a higher probability of having more common ground with them, I've found myself gravitating towards partners who have a passion for music, and I truly just like music that makes me feel something regardless of how simple the technique of the music is. I tend to gravitate more towards film, but not in a way where I watch a film and focus on the camera angles. I enjoy things simply because I enjoy them, and that's how simple it is.

This is why I am friends with the people I am friends with. My closest friends seem to have a complex where people of all demographics and stereotypes gravitate to us because we are easy to talk to and get along with. We are open minded, we are social, and we are very friendly people. We all have an eclectic taste in things, and would never turn people away for being themselves.

This doesn't always mean we attract the greatest people, but we've also gotten good at weeding the bad people out of our lives.

I've recently accepted that I don't need to fit into a stereotype to be happy, and trying to fit in somewhere has just stressed me out to the point where I'm unbelievable unhappy because people that fit in a certain stereotype are better at it than I am.
Therefore, I've decided to whole-heartedly embrace my individuality.
I've decided to love the things that I love without caring about people's judgment because at the end of the day the people who care the most about me will still be there.
I've decided that I'm not changing anything about myself for anybody.
I've decided to be myself, and that's the message that I want to reach everybody on here.

Be different.
Be comfortable in your own skin.
Be yourself.

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